Do dopers suck? My throng of reader recently posted on his website that dopers suck. It's one of those in vogue sayings that rolls off the tongue like "recycle or get off the planet". As a cyclist, you are supposed to nod your head in agreement without questioning the statement. I caught myself wondering the other day while out on a ride if indeed, dopers suck. I mean, what if they are just getting a bad rap? I mean it was once widely believed that the earth was flat and that if you sailed to far, you'd just sail right off.
"Yes Mercutio, it's true the world is flat."
"Why yes Hermaphrodite, of course it is."
But somebody came along and demythed that notion and now it is widely believed that the world is somewhat round. Could it be, as I pedalled, that dopers indeed do not suck? That they could be average, nice, cool, dudes that have been lumped onto a pile of crapheads like Hitler, and Stalin, Marvin Bernard? This topic obviously needed more thought and more than likely more research. The first guy I thought of was David Millar
of the ex Cofidis team and now Saunier Duval pro euro team. The guy doped, admitted it, felt great shame and signed another pro contract without so much as a blink/wink of the eye. Would Saunier do this if he wasn't a cool guy? Who would want him around if he sucked? And I hear he likes to party. It's tough to be much of a party boy if your an ass, and I've heard from Lance himself, that David tends to hang out in crowded bars. And what about Tyler? An auspicious beginning making his twin vanish, but he's been nothing but reformed until he was caught with the wrong blood in his veins. I mean, what kind of dude would make such a big deal out of Tugboat the Dog? Certainly not someone society would label as a sucky dude. Woe, wait a minute!! What about Jeff Spicoli? I'm pretty certain t
hat he was a doper, or at least played one in one of the best movies of all time. He didn't roll out of the cloud filled van by himself on the way to the Aloha dance, did he? If he sucked, wouldn't he have had to stay at home alone? Hmmmm. Wholly crap!! What about Paris Hilton. People round the world want to hang out with her. She's the number one party girl of all time and according to my PO (parole officer), alcohol is indeed a drug and therefore she must be a doper. Does she suck? Wait a minute, strike the question. We've all seen the video. Of course she sucks. So let's see, I'm pedalling down the road and I can only conclude that indeed one out of every four dopers sucks. Clearly not worthy of the saying. As I toweled off from my ride, I would need more data if I was to go along the next time somebody said, "dopers suck."
But how? And then it hit me. Crack whores. The pinnacle of all dopers. The big leagues, the elite, the A listers. I needed access to these women. They could figure this whole thing out. So I jumped in my car and down to Capp Street I drove. A cornicopia of hookers on the bottom end of the chain. I'll leave their names out of this, but let me tell you this: staple a $10 bill to your forehead and walk down Capp Street in broad daylight, or anytime for that matter, and you will definitely know that dopers do indeed suck. I guess I can confidently nod my head.
Johnny GoFast (eau natuaral)
"Yes Mercutio, it's true the world is flat."
"Why yes Hermaphrodite, of course it is."
But somebody came along and demythed that notion and now it is widely believed that the world is somewhat round. Could it be, as I pedalled, that dopers indeed do not suck? That they could be average, nice, cool, dudes that have been lumped onto a pile of crapheads like Hitler, and Stalin, Marvin Bernard? This topic obviously needed more thought and more than likely more research. The first guy I thought of was David Millar
of the ex Cofidis team and now Saunier Duval pro euro team. The guy doped, admitted it, felt great shame and signed another pro contract without so much as a blink/wink of the eye. Would Saunier do this if he wasn't a cool guy? Who would want him around if he sucked? And I hear he likes to party. It's tough to be much of a party boy if your an ass, and I've heard from Lance himself, that David tends to hang out in crowded bars. And what about Tyler? An auspicious beginning making his twin vanish, but he's been nothing but reformed until he was caught with the wrong blood in his veins. I mean, what kind of dude would make such a big deal out of Tugboat the Dog? Certainly not someone society would label as a sucky dude. Woe, wait a minute!! What about Jeff Spicoli? I'm pretty certain t
hat he was a doper, or at least played one in one of the best movies of all time. He didn't roll out of the cloud filled van by himself on the way to the Aloha dance, did he? If he sucked, wouldn't he have had to stay at home alone? Hmmmm. Wholly crap!! What about Paris Hilton. People round the world want to hang out with her. She's the number one party girl of all time and according to my PO (parole officer), alcohol is indeed a drug and therefore she must be a doper. Does she suck? Wait a minute, strike the question. We've all seen the video. Of course she sucks. So let's see, I'm pedalling down the road and I can only conclude that indeed one out of every four dopers sucks. Clearly not worthy of the saying. As I toweled off from my ride, I would need more data if I was to go along the next time somebody said, "dopers suck."But how? And then it hit me. Crack whores. The pinnacle of all dopers. The big leagues, the elite, the A listers. I needed access to these women. They could figure this whole thing out. So I jumped in my car and down to Capp Street I drove. A cornicopia of hookers on the bottom end of the chain. I'll leave their names out of this, but let me tell you this: staple a $10 bill to your forehead and walk down Capp Street in broad daylight, or anytime for that matter, and you will definitely know that dopers do indeed suck. I guess I can confidently nod my head.
Johnny GoFast (eau natuaral)
posted by Johnny GoFast at 7:39 PM
1 Comments:
i suck
Post a Comment
<< Home