I'm not a pet guy. Sounds strange to hear, I can imagine. What with the flock of chickens, dog, endless stream of amphibians, reptiles and aquatic life that come in and out of my life. Why do I have to live like Noah? Life is so much simpler without having to worry about animals. No doubt I enjoy them, but the hassle factor needs to be considered.

So last weekend we came home from Minnesota. While the wifeage waited for the bags to come tumbling out the carousel, I went with the boy to retrieve the car from the long term parking lot. When I returned to baggage claim to load up the goods, there the wifeage stood with a cage and two Gouldian finches. You have got to be kidding me, I thought. I turn my back for 15 minutes and suddenly, more pets. She said that some lady came up to her and told her some Sally sob story about not being able to fly with the birds so she had to give them away. So much for the wifeage not caring one iota for threat level orange and the common knowledge that you don't accept anything at the airport from total strangers. I mean, those birds could be strapped with (insert the deity of your choice here) knows what. She said that applied to those giving you stuff as you go in, not as you go out. As I looked them over, I could only think that I had two more mouths to feed. The kids quickly named them Mango and Red Top.

Last night I came home and the girl started in on me about some story involving the backyard, mom, Red Top, no cage, and a lie. Upon getting in the house, I confront the wifeage and she confesses. Apparently, finches like to live in pairs and Mango (stressed out from the travels) croaked shortly after we got him home. Which left Red Top solo. Having exhausted all avenues of finding a home for Red Top and when the kids weren't looking, the wifeage put the cage in the backyard, opened the door, and away flew Red Top. With that, she told the kids that she found a wonderful home for Red Top at a nice old ladies house in Danville. Little did she know that Red Top actually likes our house and 45 minutes later flew back into our yard. The girl ended up finding her, placed her back in her cage and brought her back into the house all the while casting a very leery eye toward the Mama. Looks like Red Top is here to stay. Lucky me. Hope you are well.

Johnny GoFast