So I got myself into a little bit of a pickle last night with the wifeage. Seems we are in for one of those husband/wife Mexican standoff thingies. I climbed into bed last night way past my bedtime having spent the evening catching up with an old buddy of mine. I had a few glasses of wine and it being very late, my usual laziness was cranked up to 11, which led to my downfall. My head hit the pillow and it quickly became clear that my pillow was without case for the second night in a row. And this is how it went down:

Me: When do you think it will be when my pillow will be covered?
Her: Silence.
Me: I know you're awake over there. Don't give me the "silent sleeping" routine. I do that to perfection.
Her: Annoyed You know where they are, go get it yourself.
Me: I don't know where we keep them.
Her: I don't believe that. What would you do if we had a guest and they needed a case?
Me: Ask Maile (my daughter).
Her: That's such BS. You'd jump up and look in the hallway linen closet and find what you needed. If that didn't work, you'd sort through the laundry.
Me: Can't you get me the case? I'm really tired and my knee hurts.
Her: No.
Me: Please.
Her: You are so damn lazy.
Me: Knowing that, can't you help me out?
Her: No.
Me: C'mon. You can't have a bed with a pillowcaseless pillow on it. What will the company say?
Her: At this point, I don't care what they say.
Me: Are you going to put a case on your pillow?
Her: Yes.
Me: Well I go to bed earlier than you. I'll just steal your pillow.
Her: And I'll rip it out from underneath your head when I come to bed.
Me: You know, in the 50's this conversation wouldn't even be happening. You'd hop out of bed and happily get me a pillow case. And slippers and a pipe to boot.
Her: It's not the 50's.
Me: Is that it? Are you taking a stand for women everywhere? If you get me a pillow case, you're somehow being oppressed? Can't you just get me the case to show me how much you love me? Does everything boil down to some sort of half baked women's movement statement?
Her: It does now.
Me: Doesn't that seem a little silly.
Her: Doesn't it seem a little silly that in the time it's taken to have this conversation, you could have gotten the damn case, pillowed it and fallen asleep?
Me: Fine line between clever and stupid, that's for sure. How 'bout a little zooma-zooma over here.
Her: Belly chuckle

Hmmmmm. Don't know how to unravel this one.

Johnny GoFast