I've got a long list of real good reasons for not riding the bike lately. The one that tops the list, however, is the fact that there is a germ-a-phobe who lives in the other building at my office complex. It was back in '98 or so, when I discovered there was a shower in the other building. My building, no such luck. Anyway, I've been showering over there since the discovery and it's made for a much more enjoyable experience for those I work with. When I ride in the morning, I usually get in and out and generally (when the water runs hot) it's been wonderful. The issue is when I sneak out at lunch for a spin. At first I didn't really notice my surroundings, but as time went by, I always notice some paper towels on the ground behind the door. I always thought that was odd and I'd pick them up and throw them in the trash can near the sink. Then, when I got back from my ride, there would be another towel or two (depending on how long my sneaky ride was) in the same spot. Then one day, as I was coming through the door, I happened upon a guy with a towel in his hand just as he was reaching for the handle. He looked at his towel and looked at the ground as if he was going to throw it on the floor, thought better of it, and continued past me on the way back to his office. I didn't think anything at the time, but later, it dawned on me that this was the guy who was throwing the towels on the floor after he had opened the door. I've never seen him since, but his towel dumping has continued. It bugs me beyond belief. I've thought about taping up a sign behind the door with something to the effect of, "Hey pal, nobody here is your mother so don't throw your paranoid door handle germ protector on the floor." But I thought maybe that would get the cleaning staff in trouble, so I haven't done it. I've had fantasies of catching this guy in the act and fake sneezing on him or sticking my hand down the front of my bike shorts, grabbing a big handful of my sweaty ball sack and rubbing it on him. But no such luck. So now you know. I haven't been riding because I hate that this guy throws his towels on the floor for somebody else to clean up. He probably eats fried food, smokes, has unprotected sex in bath houses in the City, but have to touch a door handle, egads. Hope you are well and I'll see you out there rolling real soon.

Johnny GoFast