So I went out drinking with a crew of mine on Saturday night. Naturally I've been in touch with a lot of friends lately, and that's been a comfort. We decided that maybe a few beers were in order (ala Brad Pitt in the wake scene from Snatch), so we made plans for 8pm. The thing I love about growing up in Danville is that when you make plans to meet up for a beer on Saturday night, no mention of where is ever brought up. It's been there since 1907 and it's the only place to go.

So I march into Eliots and grab myself a beer and the jocularity starts. After a while I realize there's no music so I head on over to the juke. I'm a cat 1 jukebox player and have spent many a coin developing my prowess. To my shock and horror, the jukebox was no longer there having been replaced by one of these new-aged-versions-hooked-up-to-the-internet-so-it's-way-better-contraptions. I don't want to wax nostalgic, but this is not an improvement in the jukebox arena. I will now discuss the pro's and con's to the new improved version to my favorite juke, the CD playing kind.

Category
Play list:
The obvious pick here is seemingly the new internet based jukebox. You can play virtually any song you can think of. Or can you? After starting out with some favorites (Hank Williams Sr.'s Jambalaya followed by appropriately enough Hank Williams Jr.'s Family Tradition and then onto Blue Eyes Crying in the rain, Mama Tried and Heard it in a Love Song), I thought it was time for something a little more up tempo. So I went after Dead Eye Dick's Mary Moon, and the system found nothing. I also went looking for Jane Says and I ended up getting an album but couldn't navigate to the actual song.

On the old jukebox, you had to flip through all the albums to know what you were working with. Many times the selection would cater to the type of bar. Eliots had a lot of country in their box, but they also had the staples such as Sinatra, Niel Diamond, Motley Crue, CCR, etc. Most of the fun was figuring out if you wanted to end your string with a tune by Bonnie Raitt, or if you really needed to hear Pinball Wizard once more.

Though the new machine gets high marks for an extended play list, it falls a bit short when you go deep and come up with nothing. It would seem, that there is a lot there on the surface but like those forests in Oregon that have been carved out in the center, it may be all just a facade. Besides, working a box for what it has is all the fun. Advantage CD jukebox

Value:
With the new jukebox, you buy credits. All songs cost two credits unless you want your song(s) to jump to the head of the queue and then they cost three credits. This thing was invented during Bush's reign so I place full blame on him. This is as undemocratic as it gets. You have more money and therefore more right to hear your songs first.

With the old jukebox, you bought songs and they came up in the order selected. At random, you would hear somebody shout out, "these are my songs". When you slipped your cash in, the readout would tell you how many songs or plays you had left. You had to be diligent in how you set up your order to start and finish strong and work the middle to show your ability and command. Often, the box was owned by the bar and sometimes you could get the tender to open up the till and give you some of the bar's money to set up the juke. This only came after you teetered on becoming an alcoholic, had it in tight with the bartender, and had full confidence that you knew what you were doing with such a machine.

Technology is king but not in this case. Advantage CD Jukebox

Excitement Factor:
The new box does nothing for me. Walk into a good bar and spot the jukebox and it can be nearly as good as spotting the girl in tight jeans as she bends over to take her next pool shot. The new box hangs from the wall and has a computer screen that you have to have a computer science degree to know how to navigate. The go back features take you too far back in some cases or get you flat out lost. Remembering a song on an album you have forgotten about is next to impossible. I quickly asked anyone near me to tell me the greatest rock and roll song ever and I got blank stares as they muddled over the question (correct answer: Going to California by Led Zeppelin).

With the old box, you flipped through album covers. This would set off emotional responses deep inside you. Just the cover of Rush's Moving Pictures album sent you racing back in time to long forgotten friends and a period of hopes and dreams that have long since been realized or lost forever. And just the opposite could happen, while flipping through the covers you might stumble onto George Michael and that other guy from Wham and moan out loud. They single handily almost ruined the 80's. And you might just drop a quarter and select Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go just to be an a-hole.

New and improved goes more boring than ever. Another chance to blame Bush. Advantage CD Jukebox


Maybe I'm a throwback (yet not too far as I don't want to get tangled up with those that love the original jukebox players that ran the 45's and created B-Side phenomenons), but give me my CD jukebox any day. Hope you are well. Coming tomorrow: How far has Johnny sunk and did we really see him being Griff's bitch in the feed zone? "Tell us it ain't that bad Johnny." Oh, it's that bad.


Johnny GoFast