I'd like to think that Chirper isn't dead but somewhere right now enjoying a better chicken life. You see, as we all could have predicted, I had to kill one of the chickens that had fallen sick. We have/had four and they all seemed to be going along pretty well. I want basically nothing to do with these things, but when Chirper broke it's foot and ultimately needed to be separated from the other chickens that were slowly trying to peck it to death, I was tapped by the wifeage to do the ceremonial neck wringing. I might seem like a bad ass, but killing animals is pretty low on my list of enjoyments. So I drank me some wine and then, trying my best not to think about it, I picked up Chirper by the head, walked her outside as she flapped and writhed, and then I gave her a couple of quick twirls one way and then a couple of twirls the other way, and she was done. Except for the few spasms and twitches that totally freaked me out. I chucked her into the garbage can and tried like hell to think about something else. The next morning, my daughter was first on the scene to discover Chirper was gone. I told her that I put her out on the front lawn to get some "air" and she flew away. My wife then backed me up by saying that Chirper died. The tears came but the kids got over it pretty quickly and went out back to check on the other three. I'm not going to lie to you, being a chicken farmer is no fairytale. Anyway, hope you are well and I hope I don't have to wring any necks soon.

Johnny GoFast