Anyone who has seen the above video knows that giving the wifeage a household appliance is seriously looking for their balls to be cracked. Like the time I got the wifeage steak knives which almost ended up embedded in my chest (in my defense, they were very significant top of the line knives--which we needed). But every once in a while, sometimes I like to zig when others would zag. So I went off the menu yesterday and got the wifeage a vacuum cleaner for her birthday. The ladies at work were all curious as to what I got, and fearing their scrutiny, I pleaded the fifth. And when said wifeage unwrapped said gift, the planets aligned, the skies parted and the angels smiled down on me. Homefuckingrun! Now if you're a guy, I don't recommend replicating this feat, as your results may vary and you may indeed end up getting neutered. However, if your wifeage is like mine and can see the brilliance in a robotic vacuum cleaner that moves about the house cleaning the floors as if by magic while the wifeage is out shopping or chai latte-ing or nail polishing or kid chauffeuring, then I say get up, run out and pick yourself up a Roomba Robotic Vacuum cleaner.

On to the weekend where I look to be Cyclebrating. For those of you keeping score, these will be the first races of the year for me.

Johnny GoFast