"GoFast goes slow but GoFast goes," screamed the announcer this afternoon as Johnny GoFast rolled across the finish line of today's lunchtime race. A truly relieved GoFast made his way through the masses to his handlers who took his bike from him and quickly ushered him into a waiting team vehicle. A spokesman for the Pegasaurus team addressed the throng of reporters that had assembled in front of the team bus. "I asked him how the ride went today and Johnny replied that it felt good to be back out rolling after the layoff. He said that his legs felt great and that he had only limited discomfort in his upper torso area. We will continue to watch and monitor GoFast to assure ourselves that we aren't rushing him back to action. Some encouraging things that we saw from him out there today included a couple of bunny hops and one nifty descent down a grassy embankment. There was a bit of a grimace on his face but otherwise we took that as an encouraging sign." Andrew Hood of Velonews was on hand and had a few questions, "any truth to the rumor that GoFast is now addicted to Vicodin and that he can only ride on days where he gets a lethal injection of cortisone?" The spokesman briefly scoffed at the question and then ended the question and answer period abruptly and disappeared. More news as it becomes available.

I have a little extra time today so I thought I'd answer some mail from some of my readers:

Dear Johnny-
I'm perplexed as to why a dozen eggs at the Safeway store costs a dollar less than two packages of eighteen. I can't seem to figure out why there is such a dicrepancy. Shouldn't 36 eggs be three times as much as 12. Steve Griffiths Granite Bay California

Steve-
Great question. This is something I've given a lot of thought to. It's clear to me that this is Bush's fault/master plan being orchestrated by Carl Rove. It is simply put, another vehicle to forge a wider gap between the rich and the poor. As we know, poor people have regular to small size refrigerators. Their space is limited. Meanwhile the rich have those honking SubZeros that can house a medium sized Inuit family on the egg shelf alone. By cranking up the per egg rate on the dozen, Safeway and Bush can just screw the hell out of the little guy while the rich guy with the uber abundance of space gets rewarded by a lower per egg price. I suggest we boycot Safeway and this obvious attemp to forge a wider void between the masses.

Dear Johnny-
What are your plans now that you are out rolling around again on your two wheeler? Chieko Kakihana (GoFast's wife)

Chieko-
Oh for crying out loud honey, you know I have to ride. And don't be giving me this "you're always out riding your bike" crap, because I just spent the last three weeks doing nothing but hang with the family and you know I try to do a lot of riding at lunchtime so as not to interfere with the home life and you know I'm paranoid that I'm going to get dropped every time I'm out there so back off.

Dear Johnny-
Are you interested in buying a boat? Scott Peterson Death Row San Quentin State Prison

Scott-
Ummmmm...hmmmm...great question, but no.

I have time for one more question:

Dear Johnny-
If you could eat one thing and eat as much of it as you wanted and not gain weight, what would it be? Orson Welles

Orson-
Nice to hear from you. I think. I'm pretty sure you're dead so I'm not sure how you got in here. But I'll answer none the less. I think I would have an Applefritterraviolipizzabeermeatballsandwichonsour-
doughchocalatechipcookie. Deep fried.


Thanks for reading and I'll see you out there rolling. Wear black tomorrow. Milton Friedman dead at the age of 94. Great man. 'Nuff said.

Johnny GoFast