So I come home on Friday night after a long day at the rock pile and the wifeage is in the kitchen pert near tears about our financial situation. Seems the old GoFast family has loosened the collective belt and our spending has gotten a little out of line. We're a lot like you in that we do our part to fund the economy, and we often lose sight of the importance of hoarding our cash. Don't get me wrong, we max the 401k, max the Roth IRA accounts, put away heaps of money so the kiddiewinks can run off to college one day, etc. But we have a set budget and we have a set amount of cabbage that we like to bank on a monthly basis and the two haven't been seeing eye to eye lately, and that gives the wife pause. And then I'm standing there with a crappy look on my face. This is how it went down:

Wifeage: Why are you standing there with a crappy look on your face. I just told you we have no money.

Me: You mean after all the money we squirrel away in all the various accounts, and after we pay all the bills and then send a sizable chunk to the now failing financial institution down the street?

Wifeage: Why the face?

Me: Me? I'm not making a face. What's that smell? Is that dinner? It smells great.

Wifeage: It's the chicks. I haven't cleaned out their box and there is chickenshit all over it. Seriously, why are you making such a weird face?

Me: I got a really good deal on some wheels for the cross bike and I bought them.

(Me now visibly wincing and probably still making the face.)

Wifeage: Well you're just going to have to unbuy them. You'll have to give them back and say you're sorry but we just don't need a 15th pair of wheels.

Me: But these are tubulars. I don't have any tubulars and it will solve all the issues I've been having with my current tires rolling off the rim. I can run them at lower pressure which will make me go faster.

(At this point I could tell that something had registered with her regarding my impassioned speech. There was a bit of a pause and for a brief moment a flicker as she mulled this information over.)

Wifeage: Faster, you say? How much faster?

Me: I don't know. But it should be a better solution to what I'm running.

Wifeage: I understand they pay money at these races you're going to if you finish well. Isn't that so?

Me: I think so.

Wifeage: Then you better start getting in the money.

At this point we hugged. She shook her head and then told me to lay off any more major expenses. I tried out the Lauren plan of selling our kids to the gypsies. She balked.


So if you saw the wifeage at the race yesterday beating on me like a rented mule to catch up to the leaders while I looked like I was going to barf out loud, now you know. Wifeage wants the money and what the wifeage wants, the wifeage gets.

Hope you are well.

Johnny GoFast