In a post today on Velonews, they reported that the professional bike racing team Barloworld had a bunch of their bikes stolen. What the article did not go on to say is that all their helmets, apparently, were stolen as well. Perhaps these guys are so pro that they never fall. That's how they do.

In a completely unrelated story, my bike has not been stolen. Neglected...yes, stolen...no. But I knew it was time to start riding again when I found the following slipped under my door one morning:

Dear Johnny,
Don't you think this has gone on too long? I was cool about the whole cyclocross thing this fall but never in my wildest dreams did I think you'd go from riding the bike to riding the couch. What happened to you? Have you looked in the mirror lately? Sometimes, late at night when I'm bored out of my mind in that cold dark garage of yours, I sneak into the laundry room just to chat up your cycling clothes. I thought there was a possibility that you were riding something that you kept at the office. Or maybe (gasp) you were doing those club type spin classes. Your kits had the same response: no Johnny. One particularly disturbing night while I quietly conferred with your outfits, a pair of your pants weighed in. Turns out they're not happy, Johnny. In particular, your buttons are on the verge of rebelling. The seat of your pants tried to jump on the complaint wagon, but the button stopped them with a, "oh please! You have no idea how close I am to letting go. I feel like I'm holding an avalanche back. And if I do let go, I'm afraid that as I hurl through the air that I may accidentally pierce the skin of some poor passerby, or worse, hit them in the temple and kill them. That's a lot to think about when he squeezes me through the button hole." Any way, your ski pants, they can be so haughty, informed us that our days are through. Is it true, Johnny? Are we done for, because if so, just e-Bay us now and take the misery of neglect off our collective consciousnesses. I speak for all of the bikes in the garage, and I don't even like any of them. Please Johnny, get riding again.


Sincerely,

Your Road Bike


So you see, you all are in a far better place than I am what with the Blog getting on me and the bikes conferring with the clothing about my lack of discipline lately. And not to be lead around by the inanimate, but Project Johnny 2.0 is underway. I finally threw the leg over on Tuesday and the diet is in full swing too. I've got a ways to go before the button isn't at defcon 1 so stand clear. Anyway, hope you are well.


Johnny GoFast