Hey Gang-
I reached into the mail bag this morning and there actually was a real letter in there. Most of you have guessed that the mail bag is mythical and the letters I answer are just a figment of my imagination. I've found that they are easier to answer when I come up with them, but every once in a while even I can stump myself. Anyway, below is a bonafide letter this time and it comes from my Cousin Tommy out of Macomb, Illinois. Let's take a look:

Dear Johnny,

Love the site, especially the family tidbits. I am perplexed, however, about a recent oversight. This past weekend you blogged about Jackson’s soccer game, which was fun to read. The little guy turned up big with the goal. But you didn’t even mention the big news from your alma mater, UC Davis. Here in the heartland, the news was widespread, and celebrated. I’m referring to Davis’ big football loss on Saturday to South Dakota State, 28 – 21. Yes, the loss puts the Aggies at a disappointing 3 – 6 for the season, but, more importantly, the loss outright hands my alma mater, Western Illinois, the coveted Cousins Memorial Championship trophy for 2007. (In the opening game of the season, W.I.U. beat South Dakota State.) I have to say that we are basking in the limelight, using the momentum to propel us to the playoffs. Even the W.I.U. AD was overheard saying, “We’re now 6 – 3, but we’ve got the (Cousins Memorial Championship) trophy. There’s no stopping us. We expect UC-Davis to at least win a game (in the Championship series), but they are clearly down this year. What we really want is a head-to-head match-up between W.I.U. and Davis, to show them our brand of smash-mouth football…” Looking forward to your observations.

Cousin Tom, Macomb IL

First of all, congratulations, Tommy and thanks for writing in. This was a true oversight and I hope the slight does not diminish the achievement that this championship truly is. For those of you wondering what the hell I'm writing about, let me give you a brief history of the Cousins Memorial Championship. My Cousin Tommy is an economics professor at Western Illinois University. He got his undergrad degree from Western and though he went on to get his masters from Missouri and his PHD from football powerhouse Tennessee, he still is all Leatherneck at his core. My brothers and I (save the black sheep who went to Oregon) went to UC Davis. When Davis jumped up their football program from DII to D1AA, a dream was born. The cousins dream of one day seeing our two programs go head to head for sole bragging rights. But as there are only some 200 some odd football programs in the country, it is a statistical stretch that our two alma maters will ever meet on the gridiron. But all is not lost. We came up with a hokey way of deciding who owns the better program by seeing if our teams play any common opponents. Each year for the past two years, our teams have matched up against two common opponents. I'm happy to report that UC Davis fared better in 2005 and 2006. In 2005, after winning the trophy, my brother and I were arrested for running drunk up and down the mean streets of Danville yelling, "Davis number one." Last year, again celebrating our greatness, my brother was injured when he fell off a water tower in Macomb. We climbed up there, drunk of course, and painted it Aggie Blue and Gold. This year however, Western apparently strapped their bonnets on and got after it. While the Aggies dropped both their games to North Dakota and South Dakota State, the Leathernecks somehow squeaked by South Dakota and sealed their first ever Cousins Memorial Championship. I can't tell you how that pains me to write. So we will ship the trophy back to Macomb where it will reside until we can wrestled it from Tommy's death grip. We will not suffer this humiliation again.

John "Captain Aggie" Mundelius