So I just got off the phone with the Griffociraptor. We had tentative plans to ride together this afternoon but he called to cancel. Turns out that he has to do some work/lunch thing and that we wouldn't be able to launch until around 3pm. "No big deal," I say. But he continues by telling me that he wouldn't get home until after 7pm and that won't play on a 10 year anniversary night. "Well Happy Anniversary," I say dejectedly and we hang up.

Which got me to thinking about 10 years ago. Well, it really got me thinking about 10 years ago and one night ago when I stood up and gave possibly the worst Best Man Speech ever. Mr. Griffiths, Steve's dad, called me a couple of weeks before the rehearsal dinner he was hosting and asked me if I wanted to say anything at the dinner or if I was just going to make a speech at the Wedding. "I'll come up with something for the dinner," I say naively. I've known Steve for a long time and I figured coming up with something off the cuff would be easy. Well, Mr. Griffiths gave a very nice toast welcoming everyone to the festivities and then said some very nice personal things about Steve. And then he introduced me as the best man.

I stood and about a hundred faces turned and looked at me and my whimsical nature and wit went screaming out of the door. I stood there with a total loss of words. I remember starting slowly, stating how I knew Steve. Good-good, I thought, this makes sense. I talked about how we first met on the rowing team at Davis and how we used to like to compete against each other. But I could tell the crowd wanted something more. Some dirt of some sort and I searched and searched but nothing was coming up. And so I panicked thinking that I could talk about Steve's warmer qualities. He's English and has no warm qualities, so that proved to be a dead end. Finally, I stammered out something about adoring him (I think I wanted to say I admired him for his drive) but the damage was done. The room erupted in laughter. If character is exhibited in a crisis, I have none. Anyway, I concluded it somehow and slunk back into my chair. I then proceeded to crawl into a wine bottle while friend after friend stood up and hammered home a great speech.

I went to bed that evening knowing that I had to deliver another Best Man Speech the next day. As I lay awake in bed floating from the too much wine ingested to relieve the humiliation, my only thought was that I was going to ruin the whole day for Steve and Tulip. Somewhere, in the thickest fog of my brain I remembered a conversation that I had with Tulip a couple of months before. She asked me if I ever thought Steve would get married. And I began to mull that over. A little secret, guys know that they will get married, we just don't know much more detail than that. We don't spend a ton of energy wondering about who and where and why and we certainly don't spend any energy wondering those things about a friend. (Note: If a guy does think about these things--search his closet thoroughly--hidden somewhere in there, no doubt, you will find things like assless chaps, studded choke collars, volumes of RoughBoy magazines, etc.) But one thing was certain. Steve and Tulip were right for each other. If you remember them back then, you remember the schmoopyness. It was actually pretty pathetic how they would curl up with each other and whisper God knows what into each others ear. So I worked some of that into my speech and I think I concluded with, "...and though I can't say whether I spent any time thinking about whether Steve would get married, I'm certain that he is marrying someone he truly loves today."

I still think that. I have to, because why else would he blow me off on his 10 year wedding anniversary? Anyway, hope you are well and that those of you that bet the "over" on the over/under for years married, remembered to claim your winnings. Guess I'm riding solo today.

Johnny GoFast