For those of you that don't know, Wells Fargo suffered a monumental blow recently when Mike Vomund put his career before his bike riding and took a promotion that moved he and his family to South Africa. Not sure why that is termed a "promotion", but I've been assured by those that are fast enough to keep up with Mike, that it is a really good deal for him. I will miss the way he flung himself out there all silly like and put the hurt on everyone including himself. Snot flying this way and that and attacking in a style that suggested that he was pretty low on the IQ-O-METER. But sometimes he would create the break and feast on its rewards. But the thing I think I will miss the most is his volunteerism to the team. He was the secretary to which no body ever thanked him. Well maybe those on the board, but that's a mutual ass kissing deal anyway, because no body gets love that volunteers to run a team so they have to love themselves.

So currently the position is open and there hasn't been one hand raised to take it over. Sure, Mike blazed a wide path which would be difficult to follow, but it's been eerily silent as everyone avoids eye contact with Paul Carter-El Presidente. (Side note: do you think the nickname for the team president on the East Coast is El Presidente as it is for every team here on the West Coast?) Not that anybody has asked and not that I want to step up and fail in my responsibilities to the team, but if I ran, this would be my platform:

1. I pledge to end Global Warming. Anyone Wells Fargonaut caught warming the planet under my tenure will be immediately relegated to the back of the group ride on Sunday mornings. A second offense will result in permanent personal mechanic status for me. They will need to clean my bikes on a weekly basis and do routine maintenance including but not limited to: Handlebar retaping, tire inflation and tube patching, bottom bracket switching outage and replacement, pedal swapping on cross and mountain bikes (too cheap to buy extra sets of Crank Brothers egg beater type pedals having recently converted over to Time Pedals like six years ago), and switching cogs between race wheels, training wheels and cross wheels (see reason similar to pedal situation).

2. I pledge not to abuse my power, once in office, on things like high priced call girls. There is a fine line between use and abuse. I think I'm qualified to know the difference.

3. I pledge to have us out of Iraq in seventeen minutes. I may ended up retreating through Iran. No timetable for being completely out of there until the next hot spot flares up. How far of a march is it to North Korea?

4. I pledge to do something about illegal immigrants. I firmly believe that something needs to be done. Either we need to stop them from coming, send them back, or give them amnesty and start a guest worker program. Anything less would be a diservice to doing nothing.

5. I pledge to drastically spend more than we take in in dues and sponshorship money. I plan on racing for a few more years so I figure the people who come behind me in this club can pay for my awful decisions.


I'm sure my platform is bigger than this, but these will be my focal points. If you have something that you would like me to specifically address, please let me know.

Johnny GoFast