Okay, the other night I'm having a chat with the old wifeage and she goes all silent like when I drop a "road bikers are such geeks" comment on her. At first it didn't register with me and I kept on it. Basically, we were talking about some guy in my last race that felt compelled to bump his handlebars into my hip and then give me the business for bumping him. As my brethren over at EMC know, sometimes I have a hard time going straight (see post regarding the Pinballing Pegasaurus). Although I will maintain that I was going straight at the time, I do recall this guy hitting me. He started in on me with some comment about me "creating" more room for myself than necessary. "Whatever dork," I thought. He continued on, but I dismissed most of what he was saying, because after all, he is a road geek. My wife gave me the old, "mmm hmmm." Not even listening. So I called her on it and she put down her book. "Don't you think other people that don't know you think you're a geek? Seriously, look at yourself. Spandex, cute little socks, matching gloves...you look like everyone else out there."

"Holy crap," I think and say out loud. "You think I'm a geek?"

"Well, sort of," she says. "I mean...I know you so I don't think your so dorky but you fit in so well with those you think are dorks. To others, you're just as geeky as the next."

Ouch. And then I start thinking about it. I joined Pegasus a year or so ago, and since joining, I haven't met anyone I don't like. Well, there is this guy but he's British and a blogger so there was never any hope for him. And I've met some guys on the Sierra Nevada team and they all seem cool. And I know some EMC guys and they seem cool. I've met Ramon Alarcon from San Jose and he seems all right. And I've chatted with countless others during races and they seemed to be all right and most of 'em even chuckle at the appropriate moment when I'm going on at length. So maybe I have it all wrong. Maybe road bikers aren't geeks. Maybe there are a couple that have tainted the image. Maybe the ones I don't know are cool guys I haven't met. Maybe if they did cross or rode a mountain bike I'd automatically think they were all right.

Or maybe, gasp, I'm becoming a geek. Oh the horror. Make it stop. I don't know if I can go on. I'm afraid the metamorphosis is past the point of no return. Honey, fire up the Star Trek DVD's...I'm coming home.

Johnny GeekFast

I've known Steve Griffiths for a long time. We met in college and were on the rowing team together. We've been roommates, teammates, competitors and friends. At least I thought we were friends. I spent a week up in Truckee with Steve and his family recently riding bikes, and boating, and lounging about. It was a pretty good time. Then one day I met up with Steve, one of his teammates (Roy who it turned out was pretty cool as well), and a couple of Reno Wheelmen for a ride. It should be stated at this point that I thought I was a good friend to Steve. Hell, I was the best man at his wedding. It also needs to be stated that I've been told that in order to be on the Sierra Nevada/Bikes Plus team, you need to live in either the Folsom area--location of the bike store sponsor, or live in the Chico area--location of title sponsor. I was told this by Steve who it turns out is the president of said team. I don't live in either so it was a natural barrier. Anyway, about half way through the ride, Roy who serves as the vice president and underling to Steve, starts openly recruiting both of these guys. Right in front of me. I quickly looked at Steve and he just chuckled. When I mentioned that neither of these guys lived in Folsom or Chico and that in fact Truckee is equidistant from Folsom as Alamo is, he chuckled some more. Not that I would ride for these beer bellies anyway, but it's nice to be loved. So I rode and seethed while Roy continued on his quest. But the stake through the heart came at the end of the ride. Roy, again not totally convinced that he had recruited these two talents said, "it would be great to have you guys on the team. We only recruit those guys that we like." Ouch. Thank (insert the deity of your choice here) that I was wearing sunglasses because that last comment went straight to the core. Haven't seen my therapist yet, but it may take a few sessions to restore my ego. I need a hug.

Johnny GoFast

In case you missed it, a couple of great and well run races this past weekend with lots o' schwag for all. I had to work on Saturday at the rock pile so I missed the hill climb, but the reports suggest an excellent turnout for the TT. Worked the race in the morning on Sunday for the crit and even got to announce the E5 crit race. Which was perfect for this cat 5 announcer. Raced the 35+ 4/5 and E4 races later in the afternoon, but I kind of sucked. My HR was exploding. I was pipped on the prime that featured a $150 cash payout. Later I was second in a two deep prime so I took home a bottle of Wente Merlot. Sweet. Had nothing for the sprint in the 4/5 race and I managed to take what seemed like eighth in a seven up sprint in the E4 race (Griff pointed out the absurdity in that statement--but then again--he wasn't there). It was that kind of day.

Ahh, but not all was lost. On Saturday, whilst out on my pre-ride/tune-up for the Sunday double header, I bumped into Gannon Myall of Cyclocross stardom. Turns out he's a heck of a nice guy. I was able to wheedle my way onto his good side as I mentioned that his sister and my wife used to work together. I met her a couple of weekends ago at a party over in Palo Alto. She asked me if I knew him, to which I replied, "does Pinocchio have a wooden penuse?" She told me that he was really nice and that if he put on airs that I should remind him that he sells toilets for a living. I didn't have to pull that tidbit out of my quiver, although I had it at the ready. After the usual crap talk about bikes and weather and air pressure and the like, I launched my attack. I left no stone unturned regarding his training. And he spilled. I asked him how much running he does and he revealed quite a bit. Did you know that he can run a 5 minute mile? Mental note, don't get in a foot race with Gannon Myall. I asked him about local racers and he gave me the lowdown on all of you. Even you Hernando. No mention of Griff, sorry to say. I came away from this chance encounter with stars in my eyes, for sure. I was giddy when I walked through the door and told my wife of my great fortune. She rolled her eyes and told me to take out the trash. I knew she wouldn't understand. Anyway, hugs not drugs. Unless you have drugs...then...hugs and drugs.

Johnny GoFast

Where to begin? Back from the vacation up in the mountains. My brain is just returning from the happy mush that comes with long mountain bike rides followed by boating or horseback riding or hiking or tad poling or crawdad fishing or river rafting or thrashing in the pool or general lounging about. In short, we had a fantastic time and though I drank more beer than Adolph Coors ever intended on brewing, I managed to lose some weight from all the activity. Tough to pinpoint the best day of the vacation as all were primo, but the day spent on Stampede reservoir inner tubing with the kids was pretty darn good. The lake is perfect for this cat 5 boater (punctuated with the fact that I backed it through the closed garage door after one of our boating adventures) as there is no one on that lake and the boat ramp is huge. Not that reality stinks or anything, but I'd rather spend my time growing old with my kids than growing old here at the old rockpile. But what are you going to do without the old trust fund or lottery win? Anyway, hope you are well.

Don't forget to come out to the Lafayette crit this weekend. Big swag for racers and non racers alike. Some of the primes are pert near fancy and the raffle includes tickets to an A's game with a bottomless cup of beer included, Cal Football tickets, Dom Perignon champagne, Wente wine and much, much, more. Bicycling Magazine says, "if you can only make it to one crit this year...this is the one."

Johnny GoFast

Hey Gang-
Up here in the Truckee land area vacationing. Off the water today where the Griffociraptor family, my family and the Kay Lynn Hall Repp (long time friend and extreme blog reader) family survived the mass flowage of the Truckee river. I'm sure we navigated massive class IV rapids but really, it was more about not spilling my beer. It's beautiful up here. Even saw a Pegasaurus riding along the road but my shout out went unheard.

My legs are still hurting me from my race this weekend at Leesville. I'm not certain, but that last cramp you felt could have been my season coming to a grinding halt. Talk about a hard man's race. Launched with the 40-44 year old class and felt pretty good. Had the Griffociraptor for company along with a fellow team mate. Funniest moment of the race came on the start line where the chick in blue (aka race official) asked if anyone objected to combining us with the 45-49 year olds. One guy in the older bracket put his foot down, and that's all it took for us to race separate. I didn't care, but the extreme power of that one guy was a head shaker. We were 20 strong/weak depending on your take on things. The pace started out slow but then this Webcor guy went to the front and drilled it across the flats. I couldn't help but think that the guy was the biggest tool on the planet. I've never done this race before, but from what my mates have told me, it's long, hilly, and long. Of course we crossed Highway 20 and Griff drilled it. Mr. Webcor detonated. I'm certain he is still out there at this very moment still time trialing in. Anyway, a select group of players switched spots up front shredding whatever was left of our select little group. There was a Spine guy, two EMC guys, an O Club guy, me and the Griffociraptor. Somewhere up the climb, as I crashed through a pothole, something on my speedometer rattled loose and I started making all sorts of annoying noises. I tried an on bike correction, but that proved silly, what with my fingers banging into the spokes and me rattling across bad roads and all. So I thwacked along making all sorts of racket. I could tell that most in the break were getting annoyed, but not nearly as annoyed as this blogger. And so I thwacked. Nearing the summit of a seemingly endless climb, I glanced back to see the Griffociraptor quietly coming on. Knowing that there was a crapload of race left and knowing that my boy can TT, I figured now was the time to get off and deal with the situation on my front end. So I dismounted and went to work. Griff went by and gave me a shout of encouragement. What I needed was some zip ties. I remounted about 30 seconds later and chased back to Griff. We crested together and started to chase. Up ahead we could see the EMC guy sucking another class and just beyond them, the O Club guy and then another EMC guy. Patiently we reeled in the other class and went to work on catching those in front. As we passed, EMC came with us (which was cool save the fact that he sucked another class). I tried to bridge up to the two up the road, but flailed miserably. When the next set of hills came, I was shot. The best I could do was be pissed when the other class passed with Mr. EMC in it while I went out the back. Griff stayed with me and the two of us traded pulls the rest of the way in. Another rider, again tucked nicely in a different field, passed us with about four miles to go. I was empty with nothing left. I rolled in sixth. Griff came in seventh having cramped going across the last dirt section. But he had plenty left to report the two riders to the ref. Not sure what happened after the results were posted because the only thing worse than waiting for your result at a VeloBob race is standing around waiting to call somebody out for racing less than ethical. What are you going to do? Still a damn fun race and one that I will repeat...because after all...it's a hard man's race.

Tomorrow you will find me doing Hole in the Ground with a high school friend and then on to trout fishing with the kids. Oh, and I will be drinking a lot more beer. But only to dull the pain in the legs from this weekends race. I'll log in later with more of the antics. Stay well and for goodness sake, race your own race.

Johnny GoFast