Sunday, September 30, 2007


It's just great to be cyclocross racing again. Did the Lion of Fairfax yesterday with the Griff and others and had a blast. I love this time of year with the crystal blue skies, moderate temperatures, and pleasant vibes from a less than agro sect of the biking world. Sure, you're at or over the redline and you're rippin' through stuff on less than mountain bike like equipment, but it's all good. Smiles are everywhere especially on the line.

Griff and I launched on the M35+b's and their was a lot of pride on the line. A) If you're going to ride the moped, you'd better do it right. B) If you're going to throw down with Griff, you'd better bring your stuff. I failed on A when I dropped my chain and I failed on B because Griff has it going on right now. He got dogged by some Z-Teamer and I shut 'er down on the last lap under the guise of "saving it" for the M35+a's race later that day. Question: If you're bagging sand in the B's race and somebody beats you, what do you call the guy that beats you? Don't know, but that guy should move up.

The A's race was predictably more ballistic. Maile went off the front and opened a huge gap. Some DFLer was in second and there was the Oz in third. He's been under the radar all year claiming the ick and work and what not and then unleashes a furious ass kicking at his first race. Holy shyte was he moving. Save for a last lap pancake, he would have made the podium for sure and stood next to Maile who won and Gannon Myall. That's lofty company. The funniest thing witnessed was Griff checking the air pressure in the DFLer's front tire on the start line. That's almost like feeling out your neighbors boobs. The DFLer was good natured about it and simply reciprocated the feel. They both smiled demurely at each other agreeing that the pressure was equal and exactly right and then they giggled. Only at a cross race. As for me and Griff...about half way through the race we sat in 11th and 12th and in a pack of four of five guys. Griff had come backwards after a really hard/great start and had settled in behind me. It was going to be a thrown down for sure but then he flatted and that was that. I was having a great ride and felt strong but then I flatted and sadly my day was over as well. But that's racing and the good thing about the cross scene around here is that there is another race next weekend. See you there and bring your grin.


Johnny GoFast

Monday, September 24, 2007


Okay, does anyone else out there in Blogland just absolutely hate flying? And I'm not talking about being uncomfortable or uninterested but talking about bona fide hate/fear of flying. I fall into the category of traveler that would rather drive than fly. I'm not an idiot (EMC just called a special session to debate this very topic--Is Johnny GoFast an idiot or is he just a guy pin balling his way through the peloton?). It's not like I sit there waiting to slam into the ground at 400 miles an hour. Sure, it lingers there in the back of my head, but it is not the thrust of my insanity. No, I'd say it stems from the realization that if I wanted to, I couldn't get up, go outside and scream at the top of my lungs. Well, I suppose I could do it exactly once, but that's not the point. And for those of you wondering, I've never felt compelled to do this here on Terra firma, it's just that it's always available as an option. Once airborne, that option no longer exists and my skin goes clammy.

Yesterdays travels back from Georgia was made slightly easier by having the wifeage by my side. We had a wonderful time at a rock splitting function at this swanky place on the Georgia sea coast. She helped me pass the time on the plane and it's nice of her to put up with all my idiosyncrasies. Somewhere over the middle of the country somewhere, she lets it slip that my mother believes I shouldn't race Steve Griffiths anymore. She read my blog from last week that indicated I got off my bike at a high rate of speed and skinned up my knee a little. She told Chieko that I probably pushed myself too hard in an effort to beat him, and that it's a fools errand because he's so much faster. Well my head came off my shoulders with that little nugget of love. Like the screaming baby that keeps us all awake, I launched into a diatribe about how Griff has pretty much looked at the business end of Johnny GoFast all year. Sure, he was sick at Phoenix, but I obliterated him in the TT and the XC. Then there was Sea Otter where he was late to the line. Even so, I was fast that day and came in 4th to his 10th. The only other time we lined up this year, Leesville, I pipped him by a few minutes. I crash out of one race and now my mother doesn't think I should toe the line with him. I secretly think that Griff got his wifeage, Tulip, to slip me something in her cooking. But how did she get to my mother? Something is not right and I'm looking to fix all of this Saturday. We are racing the 35+b's and then following that up with the 35+a's race. Somebody will believe (mother that someone is you if you're reading) in me once and for all. Can't keep up with Griff...you have to be kidding me with that garbage. Anyway, four rows of people yesterday heard me go ballistic before they finally got me subdued. And just as the plane was landing, I was finally calming down. But it still gets me riled just a bit. See you Saturday.

Johnny GoFast

Monday, September 17, 2007


Okay, so I've just about had it with this whole "reverse world" thing Griff has had on me lately. As we know, my complete and total domination came to an abrupt end a couple of weeks ago at his Happy Anniversary/Birthday/Sons Birthday/Griffstockapalooza thing he put together. Two men entered this jousting pit bouncy house type thing and one was unceremoniously bounced out and onto the lawn. I mean c'mon, I tell people I grew up in a lumber camp and then I get pummelled by Griff? Something is not right, for sure.

So yesterday we raced up in Sacramento on cross bikes and he nipped me again. All was going according to plan. He was in second and I was "Hoovering" right behind in third. We both overcame really bad starts which found us in the back after the first minute or so. But we both remained patient, and we gradually worked our way to the front. This was a B race after all, and we were more interested in getting in the training than getting a result, but bikes are bikes and they were meant to be raced. Somewhere during the fourth lap of nine, I slammed into something and popped the tire off the rim so that some of the tube was sticking out. It was making an awful thwacking like noise so I pulled over, let some air out, popped the tire back onto the rim and rolled into the parking lot. I found a guy with a pump and got the pressure back up and started chasing. I was about a minute down at this point and going pretty hard. I could catch glimpses of Griff and the other dude when the course doubled back on itself. Shortly thereafter, however, I over cooked a turn and I slammed myself into the ground. In front of a pretty decent crowd too. I took my time to make sure my bike was all right (I had to slam one of the brake hoods back into place). Then I did a quick inventory of me and I seemed to be all right too, so I remounted. (Please see previous post regarding pissed off wifeage who will not let me quit a race unless the bike is unrepairable or serious medical attention is required--flats, ice packs, and band aids do not qualify for drop outs) At this point I gave up the chase and just concentrated on finishing. My right knee took the brunt of the blow, but seemed to be working fine despite the large type protrusion coming from just below the knee cap. My left thumbnail was bleeding profusely, and it became apparent that it would be coming off shortly. Today I've got all sorts of bruises about the body, the ribs hurt, the thumb is throbbing and the knee is stiff. But no real worse for wear, so I'll get a ride in at lunchtime and figure out how to reverse the tide. Hope you are well and that Griff doesn't cast his evil eye your way.

Johnny GoFast

Saturday, September 15, 2007


Talk about great opportunities. I'm laying about tonight at a cocktail party and I overhear a conversation some people are having and sure enough, one guy lets it slip, that he's a bonafide astronaut. My ears perk and I move on closer to get in on this deal. At first I'm a lot like you in that I don't believe it. But this guy is all NASA. Short haircut and erect, it became clear immediately that I was dealing with the genuine article. And with that I basically shoved everyone aside and began:

Me: Are you really an astronaut?
Astronaut: Goin' up in August. I'll be flyin' the two seat. Also known as the pilot. There's a Commander, but it's the pilot that'll bring 'er back.
Me: What's up with the chick driving to Florida to whack her boyfriends other girlfriend?
Chieko: Joooohhhhhhnnnnn!!!!
Me: That's a legitimate question.
Chieko: Can we go anywhere without you embarrassing me?
Me: Seriously?
Me: Anyway, would those diapers really do the trick?
Chieko: Oh for crying out loud.
Astronaut: First of all, she's not bad looking. And secondly, I think that whole deal has been blown a little out of proportion.
Me: So you're going up in August. I hear you guys get totally loaded prior to flight. What's your bevy of choice? I'm a scotch man.
Astronaut: Again, seriously blown out of proportion.
Me: So, like I could never do it. I mean staring back at earth from like 240,000 miles away knowing that everything I need is way back there would freak me out. Does that ever enter your brain?
Astronaut: I'm not going to the moon. I'll be floating out there only 400 miles from earth. I haven't really processed the issue. I'm going up and I'm coming back. End of story.
Me: How many times have you seen The Right Stuff?
Astronaut: A lot.

It was pretty great. Right after that I met a chick that owned a bar. It was like holy grail night. My wife pulled me out of there by my ear. I still am having a hard time figuring out who was more interesting to talk to. So many questions. So little time.

Johnny GoFast

Friday, September 14, 2007

Hey All-
Below is an e-mail I sent to the Pegasaurus Team in response to the Sunday team ride e-mail back in early August. In it there was a comment about the racing season coming to an end. As any cross racer will proclaim, you've got to be kidding me? In any event, the first is the e-mail from the ride coordinator and then my response where I specifically call out the board to embrace us dirt addicted, fall riding, adrenalin fueled step children. After which you will find the meat and potatoes of today's post.


Hi Guys,
Based on the recent turnouts for the Sunday ride I think the best thing to do is to leave the ride open to those that show-up Sunday morning. Once school is back in session (early September), I assume more people will be in town and the racing season will be winding down as well, so I will resume posting specific rides at that time.

Good luck to everyone racing this weekend.


Dearly Beloved-
Racing season winding down? Speaking on behalf of myself as the self appointed captain of the dirt patrol, I would respectfully like to point out that in September, the real racing season is just beginning. All this road stuff (hill climbs, time trials, road races, crits) is just a prelude to the most bestest time of year...Cyclocross Season. I know that Tao, Sean O'Connell, Chris Rodriguez, and Dave Schindehette all welcome you with open containers into our little world of pain. You'll dig it the most if you just give it a chance. Also, as an added bonus and as a show of their commitment to the cyclocross undercurrent infecting the team, Paul Carter and Vaugh VanNote have each committed to doing at least one cyclocross race this fall. Other board members (not to single anyone out--Tony Homes) have...ahem...pussed out. That being said, any and all are welcome to come and at least practice with us on occasion, cheer for us during the race, or buy us beer when spotted about the local watering holes. It'd be the cool thing to do. Hope you are well and that you at least give it some thought.


John "Fool For Your Love" Mundelius


So that's the President of the Pegasaurus Bike Racing Club right there making good on his promise. Oh the horror, or perhaps just the whore. So hard to tell. I guess I'll never understand this whole Cyclocross-dressing undercurrent that flows through such a beautiful sport. Certainly this is a Bay Area affectation as I can't see the great Belgian racers going for this kind of mockery. Maybe they do and I'm just too staid to get it. In any event, I called out the board of the Pegasaurus' asking them to show their commitment to us dirt dogs by doing at least one race this fall. And low and behold, none other than Paul Carter steps up to the plate and takes a mighty swing. We'll see if the rest of them can man (or woman as the case may be) up and show the love. Hell, that's just damn inspiring. Think I'll go out and ride (sans the dress).

Johnny GoFast

Thursday, September 06, 2007



There's a little video for you all. That's my brother practicing a little "catch and release" in Manitoba. If you listen closely, you can hear my father talking about work. You know what they say...you can take the man out of the office, but you can't take the office out of the man. Mostly we talked about fishing and the big ones that got away.


Here's one that didn't. A buddy of mine fought this thing for a few minutes and it took a while to get him back into the water. We didn't keep any of these for eating as they can be tough to fillet. Caught our fair share of walleye which are excellent to eat. We did the traditional pan fry one night, made stew another night, fish taco's, fish in tinfoil grilled, fish jambalaya, fish gumbo...that's about all we did with the fish.


Plenty of room for you next time we go. Just let me know and I'll get you on the list.

Johnny FishFast

Sunday, September 02, 2007



So what do you see? Every once in a while your children let you know that you're on the right track with this whole parenting thing. On the way to a family outing today, I started pumping my kid Jackson about his first week in kindergarten. You see, in my effort to win Father of the Year, I went fishing last week 200 miles north of Winnipeg. When you are using Winnipeg as your reference point and you couple that with the fact that you miss one of the monumental moments of your kids life, believe me, the wifeage will cast a dour look your way. Anyway, I ask Jackson about his teacher and whether she's nice and all. Maile chimes in, "does she have an old face?" I chuckle and then I hear Jackson say, "yes. (see hag above)" And then Quietly he adds, "she's really nice, but we probably shouldn't talk about her face." Somebody, and probably the wife (see beautiful face above) who wasn't up fishing probably is having an impact in a positive way. And ain't that grand. Anyway, when I'm able, I'll have all sorts of tales about fish and the big one that got away. Come Tuesday when I can upload some of the stuff I captured, I'm sure you'll be impressed. At the present, I'm trying to figure out how to reintegrate my ass back onto the bike. Hope you are well.

Johnny GoFast