Hey, happy St. Patrick's Day. With that out of the way, let's jump right into the fracas. Without a doubt, this is going to be one of those evenings where the wifeage will lock herself in the bedroom with the lights off and and a hand towel about her forehead. She'll demand to be alone and that I'm on my own for dinner and that the kids need to be bathed after I'm done feeding them. How can I be so sure? It's parent/teacher conference day at the kiddiewinks school. And you know what they say...the cobblers children go without shoes. My wifeage, being a one time educator, takes all the shit in that shit sandwich the teachers are so good at feeding you so personally. "Jackson does an excellent job knowing his numbers up to blah, blah, blah. What he struggles with is compounding them in multiples of
n and then finding x," the teacher will say. This will be followed closely by a sniffle by my wifeage at which point I'll put my arm around her as she digs through her handbag for a tissue. Later, while listening to Maile's teacher go on about the fact that she can say the alphabet perfectly in English but struggles when she tries to say it backwards in Spanish, the wife will no longer be able to stymie herself and she'll let go with an uncontrolled wailing that will make you think a dear one just died. I remember hating report card day when I was little. Why is it even worse now? Doesn't seem fair. Anyway, hope you are well and please keep your voices down when in the presence of my wifeage. Sure to be not in a good mood, to say the least.

Johnny GoFast

First it's Fast Freddy calling me fat (or at least me thinking he did) while rolling down the boulevard. Followed closely by my wife who comforted me by saying, "he didn't call you 'fat', he said: 'good for you fat guy!'" And now this:

Dear Rider:

Thank you for your interest in the GT Dirt Coalition. We received hundreds of applications from riders nationwide, which made the selection process very difficult. Unfortunately, we’re unable to offer you a position on the GT Dirt Coalition at this time. However, we’ll keep your information on file and should another opportunity become available with GT, we will be sure to contact you. We appreciate the time you spent completing the application and hope to see you out on the trails.

Thanks again for your interest in the GT Dirt Coalition and good luck this season!

For more information on GT, please visit www.gtbicycles.com.



Best Regards,

Team GT Management


So I threw my resume at GT bikes who was recruiting riders for their dirt coalition something or other. Don't get me wrong, riding for Wells Fargo presented by Allegiant Air With a Large and Personal Donation by Mark VanDenBerghe Properties is a dream come true. But GT was offering up a pretty cool bike that they were going to give to their chosen. And I think we will all agree that beating on something given is far better than beating on something purchased. I think the thing that hurts the most is that I don't even rate for a name in the letter. I'm simply "Rider". Oh the rejection and the anonymity of it. If there is anyone else out there that wants to kick a man when he's down, here's your chance. Griff, don't even think about it as you're about as down as me. Anyway, hope you are well.

Johnny GoFastbutnotonaGTbicycle

So I really don't know what happened. Well, I do actually. But I guess I don't really think it's all that fair. I'm one of those people that has to work his ass off to lose even a single pound. When I'm motivated, I can train hard, give up drinking and chewing tobacco, stop all other interests in the name of training, forget about eating and dismiss social engagements like nobody. But when the switch is thrown, like it was on January 4th, I can fall out of shape, become demotivated, gain weight like a steroid era baseball player with the best of them. I was about 183 pounds on January 4th and this morning I toppled the scales at 203. Ouch! My normal racing weight is south of 178, so that's a 25 pound weight swing with 20 pounds coming within the last 60 days. WTF! Anyway, I'm back on the plan and this time three months from now, I'll be 198 and that's the part that I don't find very fair.

So I'm out there riding yesterday, keeping it mellow trying to coax my body into moving forward in some sort of semblance of athleticism, when Fast Freddy goes the other way. Not having my glasses on, I did my customary wave (which I do constantly--even to guys on recumbent bikes and triathletes). And to my surprise, Fast Freddy gave me a head nod. I thought to myself, "wow, that's a pro givin' me the nod. Pretty cool." And I found motivation in that for a little while until I started thinking, "he's probably wondering why that fat guy is even trying to ride a bike." And then I was bummed again. I went home and told the wifeage and she said, "he probably didn't think that, he probably thought...'good for you Fat Guy...you keep riding that bike.'" Which is what I plan to do, but good (insert the deity of your choice here), do I have to dig such a deep hole? Hope you are well.

Johnny GoFast