So Wednesday nights have become swim meet night. We signed the kiddiewinks up for swim team and it's been pretty good. They've both embraced it and they are both better than average for their first attempt at this thing. Jackson is on the full blown team and Maile-Mo is on the "development squad". The devo squad is more or less to get them acquainted with swimming and "racing" but they keep it fun and non-competitive. Mo could easily be on the regular team, but she doesn't want to yet, so we let her thrive in the devo group. That's Mo in the picture above (dark haired girl looking down at the water concentrating on the task at hand--the little blond girl next to her is Caroline and she joined us in our Uno game later on that night) doing her graduation swim across the pool before the meet last night. She won her heat and was basically the fastest girl. Not that I put all that much emphasis on her being great or anything.

For us parents, it's been an eyeopener. The whole scene is pretty crazy. There's a Stepfordness to the whole deal which is fine as long as I don't have to be sucked into it. Most of the time I can sit with the kids and play Uno or ConnectFour or I-Spy and I'm happy as can be. I remain mostly oblivious to all around but every now and again I can't help but notice the other parents "cliquing" up and going at it. They all drink from red plastic Solo glasses with concoctions brewed up out of sight. Most appear to be really enjoying themselves and that's great. Two weeks ago, I was at one of these deals and I had a woman come up to me and pull me out of my chair, ignoring the fact that the Mo was sitting on my lap. I was polite and joined in the "circle" and talked about vacations, and work and zip codes. I was somewhat shunned when I admitted that I didn't own a flat screen and that we didn't have cable even (a collective gasp--no doubt). I plowed on and admitted that we really couldn't afford Alamo and that the bank kept calling. I asked what everyone else did about this, and they all laughed nervously. When I left, or more or less was dismissed, I still got the feeling that they didn't know I was joking. This week they pretty much left me alone and I got to hang with the kids uninterrupted. And that was pretty damn great. It's a new routine for me, the scene and all, but Wednesday nights are definitely fun. Hope you are well.

Johnny GoFast

The wifeage is a lot like you in that she listens to NPR, believes Carter was the greatest president we've ever had, and is all in on the global warming thing. Okay, maybe not exactly like you, but blogland here in California (especially the biker world in which I seem to link to) seems to drift a little lefter than most. Anyway, this morning I reached for the dish washing soap and I discovered this plastic Cascade container. Normally we go for the box o' suds option, but apparently we are doing something different now. So I opened the plastic container and I found individually wrapped packets of suds. Apparently you put one packet in the spot where the powder goes and viola, you're in business. Except, it seems like an incredible waste to have the cardboard box replaced by a hard plastic case and then the free flowing soap flakes replaced by individually wrapped plastic loads. Seems like a lot of packaging which requires a lot of energy and materials that doesn't seem all that necessary. I'm forever shocked at how much packaging there is these days and no one seems to mind. Sure, we are concerned with pollution and resources, but don't take away my individually wrapped string cheese. We are concerned that we are burning up all the fossil fuels in the world, but no consideration is given to the energy and actual oil that is used to manufacture all the packaging. We focus on the behemoths we all are addicted to driving, but nobody pays any attention to needless plastic manufacturing for packaging. I suppose it's along the lines of the fact that two thirds of the nation now support drilling here in the U.S. now that gas prices have soared. The environment is a great cause and everything, but not at the expense of my convenience and pocketbook. Seemingly. Anyway, I found it odd that I couldn't pour the suds into the little compartment today. Hope you are well and that your footprint isn't as big as mine.

Johnny GoFast

Took a little time off from Project Johnny last week. Ended up taking the family to Northern Minnesota for a little rest and relaxation lakeside. We have some friends that have a cabin up that way and we rent a little place across the lake from them. The wifeage was sketch on the idea two years ago, but went along because she had visions of a rustic lodge, white table cloths and images of Dirty Dancing (the movie/not with me). She was a bit let down last time as it's none of that. It's rustic at best with most of the activities involving fishing and hanging out in the lake. The kids dig it. The first picture is of me and the Mo-Mo kicking it on the dock. This is probably my most favorite activity. It is super relaxing as you get to have casual conversations with whoever is with you, take in the passing boaters (however you are so far north that there are only a few boats on the lake at any one time), and watch the occasional bald eagle soar over head.

My buddy has three kids and his oldest daughter is an avid fisherperson. This bodes well for my little boy as he loves to fish as well. We'd go out most mornings and fish for over two hours. They never wanted to come in. This picture is of Abby who caught this bass while trolling.

One evening, after the lake had died down a bit, Jackson and I went out. He caught five good sized bass within an hour. We filleted them up and had them for dinner. He was very proud of himself and his ability to catch dinner for the family.

The wifeage did manage to get us off campus for an outing. We went horseback riding. Here's a photo of the gang all "Bonanza" like. The operation was very up north casual in that it didn't matter if you had ever been on a horse before. They had the kids galloping through the woods over downed trees and through rivers. They were all cowboy when they returned.

It was a great break from reality and I must have done something right this time. The wifeage has already signed off on a repeat visit next year. I think it has more to do with the fact that the kids would kill her if she nixed the trip. Anyway, hope you are well and I'll see you out there rolling.

Johnny GoFast

So what is up with this stuff? Supposed to be the "perfect water". As if water could be perfect. It's water, for crying out loud.

Seems that this stuff is the new snake oil. I have been accosted twice by two different "reps" for this stuff. The first was at the ice cream store as I was taking the kiddiewinks for a treat. Some guy with eyes set way too close together came up to me and said he recognized me from the House of Pain rides on Saturday morning. I do the ride, no doubt, but the fact that he recognized me left me a bit skeptical. I have a hard time recognizing myself with my helmet and sunglasses on. Anyway, he produced a bottle of this magic juice and told me in a hushed down tone, that the secret is that the water is oxygenated. He then proceeded to put me through some routine tests before a sip of the water and then after I had a sip, he put me through the tests again. I was polite and admitted that I felt a huge difference, though I hadn't noticed anything. He asked for my number and I gave him my fake phone number that I give to anyone I don't know so he could follow up with me at a later point to see if I wanted to buy a greater supply. I gave the rest of the sample to my boy on the way home from the ice cream store as he was thirsty and then I forgot about the stuff until yesterday.

So I'm kitted up and just putting on my shoes last night here at the rock pile, when out of nowhere a guy with barely a chin approaches with some line about me riding for Wells Fargo. Not a big leap to figure that out as I'm standing there in all my Fargonadedness, but I politely say that I ride for the team. With that, he produces another bottle of the Perfect Water and goes on and on. I cut him short, grab the sample and say that I've heard the pitch about the oxygenated water. He gave me his card and asked me to call him to follow up. I rode up Diablo last night doing muscle tension intervals while alternating between my regular water and the Perfect Water. I'm happy to report that I had a great workout and my legs felt great through the six intervals. My legs feel good again today...so maybe I'm hooked. But I've been addicted to placebo's in the past, so this is nothing new. I'm now out of the Perfect Water so no doubt, the withdrawals will set in. And if today's workout turns out to be a dud, I'll be sold. Be weary folks, there seems to be a growing tide of people lurking in the shadows trying to get us junkied up on water. Be very weary.

Johnny GoFast

I'm not going to lie to you, I'm a really bad boater. There's so much to remember and everything happens so fast. Just when you gain a little confidence, the boating deities come and pummel you over the head.

So today, I'm out there with the wifeage to drop the boat into Donner Lake. We do really well, and counter to what you might think, we make a great boat launching team. I usually back the boat mostly into the water and then I get out and into the boat while the wifeage backs the boat up the last five feet. Before I leave the car, we have a little chat to remind each other that we love each other and that no matter what happens (she drives the boat trailer off the ramp, I back the boat over the swim area, the guy with the great tan and humongous pecs tells us we're "doing it wrong"--all of which has happened more than once), we still love each other and this is fun! Anyway, today goes off without a hitch. The lake was calm, there were no other boats waiting for us to get our crap together, and there was nobody in the swim area. The wife parked the truck and trailer while I docked. She joined me and we made a quick lake cruise as we waited for the kiddiewinks to finish up their day camping. With a new found 30 minutes to burn, I decided to take the wifeage into a secluded cove. We chatted about how easy boating had become as I desperately searched for a spot to throw the hook (nautical term for anchor).

I thought this was the perfect opportunity for a little zooma-zooma. It was then that she screamed, "we're sinking." To my shock and horror, I looked aftward (also a nautical term) to see a massive puddle of water. I also looked into the ski locker and saw about six inches of water. Mos def, we were going down. It was then that I realized that I hadn't checked the plug. For those of you fortunate enough not to own a boat, the "plug" is the thing that invariably gets left out when you need it most. No less that 13 times today, prior to launching the boat, did I tell myself to check the "plug". No less than 13 times did I forget. So naturally I panicked and immediately headed back to the boat ramp at break neck pace. But I knew that my skill set to get the boat on the trailer and my wife's ability to get the trailer in the water would take us more than the amount of time it would take for the boat to fill and sink. So I beached it. I knew that if it was beached, it couldn't sink. I had to swim under the swim deck to confirm our worst suspicions that the plug was indeed out. Once confirmed, I had to dunk myself in that snow fed water to seal up the boat. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, which is a miracle. I sit here, as the rest of the bilge empties, knowing that I don't have to answer either of my brothers when they ask, "which one of your f-ckin' friends sank the boat?"

Any way, hope you are well and if you have the chance to buy a boat...run like hell.

Johnny GoFast