What is it to pray? Good Lord, I don’t know, but someone recently said they would pray for me for my upcoming race. The comment was made on my blog in response to my mechanical situations I have had as of late. The comment was made by Griff, no less. I can only assume that he meant he would prey on me during my upcoming race because I thought the boy was a card carrying atheist. But then BorgBorg calls me and says that Griff must be an agnostic now. Holy moly, my boy got upgrade points. Anyway, big conversation today with Borgy whether there is or there isn’t the big man (or woman) in the sky. I’m convinced that Griff can’t spell and that he’s hungry despite putting his season officially to bed. As for me, I guess I hope he upgraded to not knowing.

Johnny GoFast

Hey Gang-
I reached into the mail bag this morning and there actually was a real letter in there. Most of you have guessed that the mail bag is mythical and the letters I answer are just a figment of my imagination. I've found that they are easier to answer when I come up with them, but every once in a while even I can stump myself. Anyway, below is a bonafide letter this time and it comes from my Cousin Tommy out of Macomb, Illinois. Let's take a look:

Dear Johnny,

Love the site, especially the family tidbits. I am perplexed, however, about a recent oversight. This past weekend you blogged about Jackson’s soccer game, which was fun to read. The little guy turned up big with the goal. But you didn’t even mention the big news from your alma mater, UC Davis. Here in the heartland, the news was widespread, and celebrated. I’m referring to Davis’ big football loss on Saturday to South Dakota State, 28 – 21. Yes, the loss puts the Aggies at a disappointing 3 – 6 for the season, but, more importantly, the loss outright hands my alma mater, Western Illinois, the coveted Cousins Memorial Championship trophy for 2007. (In the opening game of the season, W.I.U. beat South Dakota State.) I have to say that we are basking in the limelight, using the momentum to propel us to the playoffs. Even the W.I.U. AD was overheard saying, “We’re now 6 – 3, but we’ve got the (Cousins Memorial Championship) trophy. There’s no stopping us. We expect UC-Davis to at least win a game (in the Championship series), but they are clearly down this year. What we really want is a head-to-head match-up between W.I.U. and Davis, to show them our brand of smash-mouth football…” Looking forward to your observations.

Cousin Tom, Macomb IL

First of all, congratulations, Tommy and thanks for writing in. This was a true oversight and I hope the slight does not diminish the achievement that this championship truly is. For those of you wondering what the hell I'm writing about, let me give you a brief history of the Cousins Memorial Championship. My Cousin Tommy is an economics professor at Western Illinois University. He got his undergrad degree from Western and though he went on to get his masters from Missouri and his PHD from football powerhouse Tennessee, he still is all Leatherneck at his core. My brothers and I (save the black sheep who went to Oregon) went to UC Davis. When Davis jumped up their football program from DII to D1AA, a dream was born. The cousins dream of one day seeing our two programs go head to head for sole bragging rights. But as there are only some 200 some odd football programs in the country, it is a statistical stretch that our two alma maters will ever meet on the gridiron. But all is not lost. We came up with a hokey way of deciding who owns the better program by seeing if our teams play any common opponents. Each year for the past two years, our teams have matched up against two common opponents. I'm happy to report that UC Davis fared better in 2005 and 2006. In 2005, after winning the trophy, my brother and I were arrested for running drunk up and down the mean streets of Danville yelling, "Davis number one." Last year, again celebrating our greatness, my brother was injured when he fell off a water tower in Macomb. We climbed up there, drunk of course, and painted it Aggie Blue and Gold. This year however, Western apparently strapped their bonnets on and got after it. While the Aggies dropped both their games to North Dakota and South Dakota State, the Leathernecks somehow squeaked by South Dakota and sealed their first ever Cousins Memorial Championship. I can't tell you how that pains me to write. So we will ship the trophy back to Macomb where it will reside until we can wrestled it from Tommy's death grip. We will not suffer this humiliation again.

John "Captain Aggie" Mundelius

It wouldn't be another weekend if I didn't DNF out of a race for a mechanical issue. Yesterday, was no different than any other this cross season having suffered a pinch flat about 25 minutes in to the Surf City cross race. A race I almost didn't attend due to being a bit under the weather. I did show, and I'm glad I did. The course was really fun and the venue was spectacular. Good music and overall vibe. Just wish my luck went a little deeper.

Anyway, do you know the guy in the 35+A's category that wears a skin suit with a crazy floral pattern? I got up close and personal with him and now I'm left with a herpes like sore on my upper lip. You see, he had just passed me going over the single barrier before the ravine jump thing above the football field. Sensing that he had a little more mojo, I dug deep to draft his wheel. As we rocketed down the single track, unbeknownst to either of us, the course tape had been taken out and both of us careened off course. He realized a bit more quickly than I did (frankly, I was seeing double due to the effort) and he grabbed his brakes in full stop mode. By the time I realized what was happening, that floral pattern was coming at my face (or vice versa as the case may be) at break neck pace. And I planted my face into his back that I'm sure he's still feeling today. I quickly apologized for taking him from the rear and he apologized for taking us off course. In that nanosecond, a DFLer got by us (the tattooed one--not the one with the pronounced nose, he was having a great race a number of spots in front of us) but we quickly got back on track. A little later I flatted and that was that.

I saw the floral guy in the parking lot later and we giggled at each other and apologized again. What can you do? Anyway, next weekend is McLaren Park and I will finish. The planets have to align sooner or later don't they? Hopefully my lip heals by then.

Johnny GoFast

When you live in suburbia, I guess you do what the suburbians do. Naturally this includes doing the soccer routine. We, or I should more accurately say the wifeage, signed the boy up for under six soccer. I'm of the opinion that you should really only sign your kid up for that which they beg to do. That way, it's their idea and they will be that much more into it. Just last year, the boy said he loathed (not allowed to use the word hate in this family) soccer. At the time, it brought a smile to my face due to the word usage (pretty advanced for a four year old) and used correctly. Not a big fan of soccer. I mean the deity of your choice did give us arms after all. In any event, we signed him up and he's been okay about going to the games.

I was resigned to the fact that the boy just isn't that good at soccer. In fact, up until yesterday, I probably would have told you he is the worst one out there on the field. But development at this age is an amazing thing. From potty training to writing to reading to athletic development, each kid goes at their own pace. And what can frustrate us as parents one day, can be a thing of the past tomorrow as the kid develops. You have to keep a keen eye out because it happens so quickly.

So yesterday morning I'm at the boy's soccer game with the girl in tow. I've got the chairs and my Pepsi (I wish I could quit) and the sports page and I'm settling in with the girl as the boy goes through the pre-game drills. The drills are the best part as he really seems to try and actually does pretty well with what they want him to do. But in the game, he's a little shy and afraid to mix it up or even kick the ball. The game started and I kept only a half an eye on the action as I horsed around with the girl. But soon it became apparent that something had changed. Jackson dribbled the ball at one point, made a pass to a teammate, made a couple of nice kicks and even took a corner kick. I distracted the girl by asking her to shout out any number that she could read. I put away the paper, my focus squarely on the game. I even mumbled something to the girl to keep her eye on Jackson because he seemed destined to score. Not a minute later, I watched with my mouth agape as Jackson went to the front of the goal, put his hand in the air and shouted to his teammate with the ball that he was all alone. And the ball came his way and he booted it into the goal. I was certain that he kicked it, but I only knew for sure when he immediately turned and looked at me for my approval. Without knowing, I stood there with both my hands in the air and he smiled. I knew that he had done it. I have had a lot of fortune in my life. More than a person probably has a right too. And I guess as a parent, all you want in this world is for your children, just every once in a while, to taste that joy as well. One of the better days of my life yesterday. Hope you are well.

Johnny GoFast

Andrew Hood of Velonews recently caught up with Johnny GoFast’s Cross Bike. In a lengthy discussion regarding everything from having Johnny GoFast as an owner, other bikes in the peloton, and the future, Johnny’s bike was very candid and outspoken on many topics. I’ve interviewed Johnny himself on many occasions so I wasn’t that surprised to find that his bike was equally as spirited. Below is a brief excerpt from that interview. The full interview will be available in the next issue of VeloNews due out in November.


VN: How long have you been under Johnny and what have been some of the things that you have enjoyed the most.

J’sCxB: I’ve been with Johnny for about three years now. Prior to that, I was ridden by Steve Ouzounian. There were many advantages to being ridden by Oz, but I have to say, it’s been really great to be partnered with Johnny. No doubt, Johnny enjoys riding me the most. He gets better results on the mountain bike and he definitely rides his road bike the most, but nothing makes him as happy as riding me. We do a lot of rides in the Open Space near Walnut Creek and it really is pretty great.

VN: You failed to mention the Single Speed that Johnny speaks of so highly.

J’sCxB: None of us really take that bike seriously. It rarely goes out and when it does, it just gets racked and ignored.

VN: How much time does Johnny spend tending to your needs? In other words, how much wrenching does he do on you to make sure you are in top performing order?

J’sCxB: He definitely spends most of his wrenching time on me as compared to his other bikes. But then again, I think he is the most abusive on me as well. The road bike doesn’t have to consistently take the same beating as I do and the mountain bike really only gets raced. The mountain bike racing season is really when Johnny is the lightest during the year so it’s easier on him than it is on me.

VN: That’s interesting. You recently wrote into Johnny’s blog complaining about the extra weight Johnny carries this time of year. Do you two fight about his girth?

J’sCxB: I wish that didn’t get aired. We had just come off of a really bad weekend where one of my parts let go. We were both really upset with our relative performance and there was a lot of finger pointing going on. I should have never written that letter. But now that it’s out, it’s important that everyone knows that I wouldn’t want anyone other than Johnny racing me. I know he struggles with his weight and the last thing he needs is me to give him shit for it.

VN: Obviously you have heroes. Can you name a few?

J’sCxB: Well I think every bike that works for a bigger rider has a crush on Magnus Backstedt’s bike. It’s really earned a tremendous amount of respect especially his Paris Roubaix bike. But like Johnny, I don’t really go for all the pro stuff because I have my suspicions regarding whether those bikes are doped or not. Closer to home, I have a lot of respect for some of the bigger local rider’s bikes. I get a chance to talk to Morgan Fletcher’s bike quite a bit. If you know Morgan, you know that his bike takes a beating week in/week out and does so admirably. It’s obvious that Morgan is a much better wrench than Johnny and even dresses up his bike with fancy things like tubulars and carbon wheels, but Morgan’s bike is really down to earth. We talk about things that we can do to lessen the blow on a remount or little squeaks we can make to get our riders to ease up a little. I’ve picked up a ton of little tricks from Morgan’s bike and it’s really helped me continue in the sport.

VN: There’s been some discussion that Johnny may be getting ready to purchase a new cross bike for next year. Thoughts?

J’sCxB: I think all of us bikes know that we have a very short window of time to be appreciated. We’re lucky to have Johnny as an owner as he tends to ride us longer than some of the other racers in the area ride their bikes. No doubt my parts are starting to get fatigued. I wish I could alert him sooner to some of the things that need to be replaced, but he’s somewhat slow to recognize my signals and by then it’s too late. I’m hoping that he’ll just overhaul my parts but if not, I’m hoping that I will get to stick around as a back-up bike or rain bike. I can’t imagine going somewhere else and having someone else ride me, but sometimes it is what it is.


Anyway, hope you are well and we'll see you out there this weekend.

Johnny GoFast

So I just got off the phone with the Griffociraptor. We had tentative plans to ride together this afternoon but he called to cancel. Turns out that he has to do some work/lunch thing and that we wouldn't be able to launch until around 3pm. "No big deal," I say. But he continues by telling me that he wouldn't get home until after 7pm and that won't play on a 10 year anniversary night. "Well Happy Anniversary," I say dejectedly and we hang up.

Which got me to thinking about 10 years ago. Well, it really got me thinking about 10 years ago and one night ago when I stood up and gave possibly the worst Best Man Speech ever. Mr. Griffiths, Steve's dad, called me a couple of weeks before the rehearsal dinner he was hosting and asked me if I wanted to say anything at the dinner or if I was just going to make a speech at the Wedding. "I'll come up with something for the dinner," I say naively. I've known Steve for a long time and I figured coming up with something off the cuff would be easy. Well, Mr. Griffiths gave a very nice toast welcoming everyone to the festivities and then said some very nice personal things about Steve. And then he introduced me as the best man.

I stood and about a hundred faces turned and looked at me and my whimsical nature and wit went screaming out of the door. I stood there with a total loss of words. I remember starting slowly, stating how I knew Steve. Good-good, I thought, this makes sense. I talked about how we first met on the rowing team at Davis and how we used to like to compete against each other. But I could tell the crowd wanted something more. Some dirt of some sort and I searched and searched but nothing was coming up. And so I panicked thinking that I could talk about Steve's warmer qualities. He's English and has no warm qualities, so that proved to be a dead end. Finally, I stammered out something about adoring him (I think I wanted to say I admired him for his drive) but the damage was done. The room erupted in laughter. If character is exhibited in a crisis, I have none. Anyway, I concluded it somehow and slunk back into my chair. I then proceeded to crawl into a wine bottle while friend after friend stood up and hammered home a great speech.

I went to bed that evening knowing that I had to deliver another Best Man Speech the next day. As I lay awake in bed floating from the too much wine ingested to relieve the humiliation, my only thought was that I was going to ruin the whole day for Steve and Tulip. Somewhere, in the thickest fog of my brain I remembered a conversation that I had with Tulip a couple of months before. She asked me if I ever thought Steve would get married. And I began to mull that over. A little secret, guys know that they will get married, we just don't know much more detail than that. We don't spend a ton of energy wondering about who and where and why and we certainly don't spend any energy wondering those things about a friend. (Note: If a guy does think about these things--search his closet thoroughly--hidden somewhere in there, no doubt, you will find things like assless chaps, studded choke collars, volumes of RoughBoy magazines, etc.) But one thing was certain. Steve and Tulip were right for each other. If you remember them back then, you remember the schmoopyness. It was actually pretty pathetic how they would curl up with each other and whisper God knows what into each others ear. So I worked some of that into my speech and I think I concluded with, "...and though I can't say whether I spent any time thinking about whether Steve would get married, I'm certain that he is marrying someone he truly loves today."

I still think that. I have to, because why else would he blow me off on his 10 year wedding anniversary? Anyway, hope you are well and that those of you that bet the "over" on the over/under for years married, remembered to claim your winnings. Guess I'm riding solo today.

Johnny GoFast

No secret that I grew up in Danville. It used to be a quiet little place that nobody had heard of. Then Blackhawk went in and the neuvo riche infiltrated the place. Now you can't swing a dead plastic surgeon around without hitting a boobed up mom talking on her cellphone driving her Hummer while drinking her grande latte double half decaf nonfat mocha. It's gone all icky and it's happened under my watch. I don't know how, but now more than ever, it's totally pathetic. There was a day back in high school when we would park out on Daughterty Road, pull out the keg and drink right there in the middle of the road. Try that stunt today, and Ms. Silicone will flatten your ass within 30 seconds and not even notice she hit anything. Biking is still popular out this way, it just takes a bit of moxie on the part of the biker to avoid these rolling Peg Bundy's.

The foul mood is starting to dissipate. Talked to Griff a bit yesterday and he advised to just ride this week. Take off the monitor and just get out there and enjoy. So I rode the single speed and tomorrow I may break out the mountain bike and hammer some of those secret trails only I know about. If you have some time at lunch, hit me up and I'll take you along. Got the cyclo cross bike back in order but you never know what will let go next. Ahhh, the fun of dedicating no resources to the cross bike.

Jason Dunlap turned me onto a new blog site. I've linked it under the title "East Coast Snobbery." The guy wrote a great article on cross racing that you need to check out. Absolutely hilarious. The guy can twist a word with the best on them.

Haven't reached into the mail bag lately so here goes....

Johnny-
Love the site. You've been my main inspiration for getting my blog going. Anyway, noticed you changed your little blurb at the top. Did you and the Griffociraptor have a bet going? Greg B. Truckee, California

Hey Greg-
Mutual love for your site. Tough to compete with humor like yours. Anyway, no bet was lost but I thought it only fair since Griff went out in a blaze of glory. I have it up there to remind me of where I need to get to during the coming months. I loathe that man and will not suffer the humiliation of losing to him again. Plus, he needs some cheering up with that new kit design. He's English and all and it's a bit agro for his tastes.


Hey Johnny-
Can you lose some weight? Your killing me. It was so much nicer having Paul Carter on me. He's light and airy compared to you.

Sincerely,

Your Cross Bike

Dear Cross Bike-
We need to take this offline. All my readers are now snickering at me. I promise to work at it if you promise to stay in one piece for the rest of the races.


Anyway, hope you are all doing fabulous. See you on Sunday-Sunday-Sunday down Santa Cruz way.

Johnny GoFat

Staring down a long week,
After a bad day at the Stick.
With the seat clamp a failin’,
My race done over quick.

Just another bad day,
On a heap of failure.
This cross seasons a turnin’
Into total despair.

I've got the half a lap blues,
I don’t know what I can do.
With equipment a flyin’,
What’s a cross racer to do?

Each week it’s a something,
That breaks loose or lets go.
Last week it was the power,
That done failed up to show.

And when the equipment, it holds,
It’s the rider that goes down.
The wounds done scarred over,
From the fall in SacTown.

I've got the half a lap blues,
I don’t know what I can do.
With equipment a flyin’,
What’s a cross racer to do?

Given into the fate,
Greater people have quit.
If I didn’t like it so much,
I could care half a shit.

But I’ll be out there next week,
No doubt suffering something new.
A mechanical unknown,
What’s a cross racer to do?

I've got the half a lap blues,
I don’t know what I can do.
With the equipment a flyin’,
What’s a cross racer to do?




Foul, foul mood this morning. That which makes me sane is driving me insane these days. So I'll do what I do when I get down. Hammer the single speed at lunchtime and get the frustrations out.

Johnny GoFast

So I've got this secret e-mail account with Yahoo that I use when I sign up at websites where I don't want a lot of crap coming my way. You know, trying to keep the Rock Pile e-mail strictly professional and all. Anyway, I logged onto my account today and there were something like 200 messages sitting there. Figuring my e-mail address had been compromised, I opened them to find that they were all regarding the cross season. I remembered that I signed up for the Bay Area Cyclocross user group and apparently posted the Yahoo e-mail address. And so for the better part of a long time this morning, I got to read up on all things cyclocross. Except when I'd click on an e-mail from Yahoo which would make my Yahoo e-mail crash. Here is what I learned:

-People like to comment regarding Sandbaggers. I think five top five's qualifies you for a mandatory upgrade. I've pretty much lived my racing this way and it's worked out. Sure the first year in the up category is a bitch, but someone within the thread said it best when he said you eventually adapt. That's a good word for it.

-People like to chatter about tubulars, clinchers, tire pressure, sealant, etc. Geeky. Used to be that you threw on what you had, affixed a smile to your face, and raced.

-Horse people don't like bikes period. Storing barriers, riding around arenas, wearing spandex is so offensive. C'mon people, go back to wherever it is you came from and stop riding and smiling in these here parts. Seems to me I remember a similar attitude when I rode my mountain bike up that way.

-No more pre-riding the course whenever you like. The rules seem workable and fair. Note to Griff: this rule is called the Griffociraptor Rule.


Other ramblings:

1. Had the girls pre-school conference yesterday with Teacher Mary. She thinks Maile is doing fine and right at level in terms of being ready for Kindergarten, dealing with others, etc. Shocking about the dealing with others because on Wednesday, she tried to rip her friend Lily's face off. Apparently there was some disagreement and Maile let fly. Teacher Mary told us about how her kid once bit the only kid in the neighborhood with a completely anal retentive parent. "Of course that would be the kid your kid bites", we said.

2. The girl took the boy in for Show and Tell today. It's "J" week. The boy stood in front of the class and said his name is Jackson and I'm wearing Jeans.

3. Going with the wifeage tonight to her High School Reunion Weekend. If I come out of this thing with her still talking to me, I'll consider it a minor miracle. I have a tendency to have a little sauce at these things which gets my joke meter running. Often, she gets embarrassed both at and for me.

4. Riding Candlestick with all you all on Sunday. The thought has me smiling.

Hope you are well.

Johnny GoFast

-Somewhere, Griff is thinking about how he pollaxed me in the Sac CX race and he's probably giggling to himself.

-Somewhere, I'm thinking about the same thing and wondering how he did it when he was so drunk the night before that the room was spinning when he went to bed. Although I'm probably not giggling.

-Somewhere, my little boy is thinking about fishing or skiing or running and jumping and playing with any number of people his size.

-Somewhere, I'm thinking the same thing.

-Somewhere, my little girl is no doubt enthusiastic about something.

-Somewhere, my heart swells at the thought.

-Somewhere, my wife is thinking about what to make for dinner.

-Somewhere, I'm thinking about eating anything. I'm damn hungry all the time.

Well, that's all I've got for you today. I've been a little out of it lately and I hope to be up to my regular blog jocularity shortly. Hope you are well.

Johnny GoFast

Do you know this man? He's none other than Chris Lieto and he can throw down in a triathlon. And I mean the real deal. He's currently the reigning fastest American in the Ironman series and a favorite to win it all this year. Normally I avoid the whole triathlon scene as it is even geekier than the road bike scene. But Chris is the genuine article and he's one of those that can see the dream, believe in it, and pursue it with unwavering determination.

I met Chris a few years ago through my brother. They swam and played polo together back in high school. I was a football player and never dreamed I would swim let alone put on a speedo. But my brother convinced me that it was great exercise and that I should give it a try. I did and I got to be pretty good. Naturally, I was sucked into doing some tri's and that's where I got to know Chris. He's quick with a smile and remains upbeat always. Despite getting his foot crushed by a car a number of years ago and being told he'd never run again, Chris never lost sight of his goal of becoming a professional triathlete. Today he's in the conversation of being one of the best. That's pretty damn great.

Around these parts, Chris is simply known as the guy that takes the pipe to everyone on Saturdays on the House of Pain ride. Some of his pulls are legendary. He'll go to the front and start riding tempo and the group of 75 riders or so will shatter. Later, he'll still be pulling on the front with only the best able to hold his wheel. He's done some racing for the Strawberries and he fared pretty well up at a stage race in Oregon taking 7th behind riders from Health Net, Navigators, Priority Health (Ben Jacques-Maynes) and Toyota United. That's damn good considering all those that finished in front of him are full time road pros. Anyway, he's got a real chance this year over on Kona so send him a vibe or two. I've also posted a link to his website under Tri Geek Extraordinaire so you can check in directly on his lead up to the race. Hope you are well.


Johnny GoFast

That there would be the MoMo. Her given name at birth was Maile, which became Maile-Mo, which became Mo, which was too short for such an enthusiastic little girl so it became MoMo. Which oddly enough means peach in Japanese.

Sunday I got her all to myself so we went on a hike on Mt. Diablo. We usually hike out of Rock City and head out to a cool rocky point that looks over the whole San Ramon Valley. From our rocky outcropping we can see coyote on occasion, lizards, various bug type species, hawks, and other fauna. We also see bikers coming up and going down the hill. MoMo will tell you that the ones going down the hill are the "Lucky Dogs" because it looks so much easier. I hope that's not a prelude to her preferring gravity type racing to the cross country. Anyway, it was a beautiful day and we saw all sorts of cool things. She even spotted a lizard, chased it and touched it before it was able to scurry into a rock pile. The boy typically is the only one interested in such things, so I was happy to see her engaged. We hiked for a few hours and then predictably, on the way home, she passed out and we didn't hear from her until the next morning. The girl goes hard no doubt. I'll leave you with a softer picture of her. She's more like the top photo but she also has her quiet reflective moments as well. Hope you are well.

Johnny GoFast

As most of us probably know by now, there was a bear saved near Donner Summit this past weekend. As we head into the election season, let's look in on the Democrats and see what they are up to:

Pelosi: Can we get a quote from the Bear citing the fact that his day has been ruined?
Obama: Why would we want to do that?
Pelosi: God you're an idiot. Do I have to explain everything?
Obama: Just the part where I need to keep repeating that this is a bad war. I'm kind of getting tired of saying that. I need something else...can't I come out against land mines and transfats...?
Pelosi: Quiet there peacenik, I'm trying to think over here...We need a quote from the Bear stating that he was trying to kill himself. That the rescuers ruined his death. We need a psychologist to confirm that the Bear had gone off his meds for depression due to global warming.
Gore: I'm sorry, I was dozing, did you say something about global warming?
Pelosi: Furl up your cape there Captain Planet, you've ridden that wave too long.
Pelosi: Where's Hillary? Somebody hand her the talking point about this being Bush's fault and tell her to keep the shrill to a minimum.
Hillary: Sorry I'm late, caught Bill banging another fat chick. All this buzz about bears has him all horned up. Anyway, has anyone given any thought to providing free health care to bears? They just found a bear in California that was living under a bridge. Not only is the bear homeless but it turns out he has no health care coverage. This is the 20th century for crying out loud, how can we have bears in this country living without health care?
Pelosi: 21st Hillary.
Hillary: 21st what?
Howard Dean: Maybe we should call in Kerry. He's getting a little bounce in his numbers from that whole "Don't taze me, bro" thing that I thi...
Pelosi: Yeah, what the hell was that all about? Why was he addressing a bunch of college students in Florida in the first place? I'm sorry Howard, I cut you off, were you going to say something else?
Howard Dean: No I was pretty much done I just wanted to add, Heeeeeyyyyaaaawwwww!!!
Pelosi: Get me Kerry on the line. And somebody get me his voting record. I want to make sure that he's remained consistent.
George Stephanopoulis: I have those numbers right here, Nancy. He's definitely pro bear.
Pelosi: Sounds like we've got our candidate.
Howard Dean: Heeeeeyyyyaaaawwwww!!!
Pelosi: Jaysus, Howard, knock that crap off.

No need to look in on the Repubs, I'm sure they're just loading up the guns to have themselves a good old bear hunt.

Interesting stuff indeed.

Johnny GoFast